“I’m totally up for that.” He grinned from under his curls. But maybe do it right, kind of just hang out and get to know each other.” So, I want to do this if you’re still up for it. “…and I said to myself, life is too short. He was talking again, and I’d totally zoned out.

He wasn’t wearing black but a mixture of beiges and reds. He had some ripped, multicoloured rock band T-shirt showing underneath a knitted cardigan, the look completed by a super-cool, vintage long coat. All polished up and fully visible below his too-short, chequered trousers. “Hmm.” He was staring at me again, like he had the world at his booted feet. “Try spelling it every time you give it to someone on the phone. So, all that bread and cheese shit is out-” “Look, I’m French, and obviously wired wrong because I’m both lactose and gluten intolerant and I don’t like coffee. “I don’t like coffee,” I muttered like a petulant child. We can just go for a coffee if you want?” “Why am I intimidating?” he asked, shuffling his feet. She was happily shagging around like a teenager, and secretly, I loved that she did. But there had been no one in my mother’s life and she’d obviously been lonely. I’d had a good childhood, I honestly couldn’t complain. It had been just her and me back then, and we’d lived well. I had no idea where she met these men, but they were a new constant in her life-something she didn’t have when I was growing up. She’d moved back to France a few years ago, taken a lover, and then another. Leo, Leo mon enfant terrible. I could hear my mother’s voice in my head, scolding me for my stupidity, although she’d probably have been laughing too much to tell me off. Why the hell had I told him all that? Really, Leo? I didn’t want to put the damn thing back in my mouth. I’m just…hopeless at everything, apparently.” I rounded up my little Ted Talk, picked up the cigarette, then stood there not knowing what to do with it. “…either they never call again, or they leave before we even get our clothes off. How did people do this? How did they get over themselves? I couldn’t.

I didn’t know where to look as my mouth kept blurting more nonsense. It’s just, it never leads anywhere…”Īnd I was off again, jabbering so fast the cigarette flew from my lips and almost rolled off the platform. “I mean, I’ve hooked up with people before. “No, no, I’m not a virgin.” I dug my hands into my pockets.

Breathe by Sophia Soames